The best self-help books for when you're feeling lost
Self-help books written by men currently dominate the bestseller lists — such as those by James Clear and Eckhart Tolle —although women have traditionally been the primary consumers of these titles. However, female authors have started to gain popularity and draw widespread readership.
We’ve selected our favourite self-help books by female authors that we turn to when we’re lost. These five non-fiction books are our go-to’s when we need more practical support for our mental health and emotional wellbeing.
A self-help book to connect with self-acceptance | Already Enough by Lisa Olivera
We’ve been thinking a lot about self-acceptance over the past month: how we feel forced to mold and shape ourselves into something else just to be, and the one book we’ve been turning to as an antidote to that perspective is this one. Lisa Olivera’s Already Enough: A Path to Self-Acceptance.
In this book you’re gently encouraged to write a whole new story — and with that invite in a new set of beliefs and possibilities — so that ultimately you can believe in and access your “inherent enoughness.”
Staying in her work as a therapist, Olivera gives us a space to reflect on what our story is: such as needing to be perfect to feel worthy, having to stay small because our needs don’t matter or not showing up because we don’t belong.
This book feels like having a session with Olivera, as she takes us through practices, questions, and tools to reframe our stories and then courageously integrate new ones. This book is for anyone, who feels less than accepted, who is striving, striving, striving, and wonders what’s beneath that.
““Our stories weave themselves into every aspect of our lives. They shape our reactions and our choices. They influence how we treat ourselves and how we relate to other people. Our stories are guiding forces in our experience of being human.””
A self-help book for when you’re burned out on self-help | Real self-care by Dr Pooja Lakshmin
This is the book we’d been seeking as an antidote to the pressure to do more and more and more. It’s almost an anti-self-help book in that it both challenges some of the assumptions of the ever-improving industry and offers a different, almost unmarketable, set of ideas for how to be.
Dr Lakshmin emphasizes genuine self-awareness over quick fixes, advocating for practices that nurture holistic well-being rather than fleeting indulgences. In this book, burnout becomes a form of cultural betrayal, as we turn to one of three coping mechanisms from the self-help industry: escape, achievement, or optimization.
For Dr. Lakshmin Real Self-Care is self-driven and founded on four key principles:
Setting boundaries around your needs and desires
Treating yourself with compassion which might mean changing how you talk to yourself
Moving closer to yourself by connecting with what matters most to you
Making yourself bigger (rather than smaller) and supporting other women as you do so
Read this if you’re tired of quick fixes or you even experiencing fatigue around the latest wellness trend.
““Wellness dogma says that a fix for your troubles is as simple as buying a new day planner or signing up for a meditation class. And according to this philosophy, when you don’t find time for these “solutions”, it’s your fault for not keeping up with one more task on your to-do list.””
A self-help book for when you feel stuck | Un(Stuck) by Dr Sophie Mort
Dr Sophie Mort’s (Un)Stuck is the perfect book if you’ve ever committed to a habit that didn’t stick, found that you’re stuck in one that you can’t break, or you find yourself getting in your own way.
A clinical psychologist with a Master’s in Neuroscience and the bestselling author of A Manual for Being Human who has become somewhat renowned for taking therapy to Instagram, Dr Soph as she’s known has written an accessible, practical and hopefully impactful self-help book on what to do when we (inevitably) get stuck. So if you’re curious to know what might be getting in the way of anything you want to do (but can’t) read this.
In this book, Dr Soph covers five areas that “people rarely fully understand that get in the way of us being able to take charge of our lives and stop going in circles.”
Heuristics: understanding what these are and how they might be holding you back
Self-sabotage: what it really is (self-rescuing?) and what to do with it when this happens
Games: knowing that you might be playing these, often unconsciously (any rescuers out there?)
History: understanding generational patterns and the scripts that we inherit, and unknowingly live by
When you’re feeling stuck in life, this book can help you get out of your own (often unconscious) way.
““More than 40 percent of our actions are behaviours we engage in without conscious thought.” ”
A self-help book to build self-awareness | Why Had Nobody Told Me This Before? by Dr Julie Smith
Dr Julie Smith’s bestselling book is a toolkit – it’s filled with the lessons we could learn through years of therapy, but that should be available to all of us before we even sit on that couch. Like what’s the baseline for our emotional and mental wellbeing? What are the foundational approaches to better navigate our everyday lives? How can we build a practice when we’re feeling good that serves us when we’re feeling bad?
Drawing from her extensive experience as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Smith distills complex psychological concepts into accessible and actionable advice. The book is structured around key themes such as managing anxiety, battling depression, building self-confidence, and fostering resilience.
Dr. Smith's approach is refreshingly straightforward, offering tools and techniques that can be immediately applied to daily life. She emphasizes the importance of understanding and managing one's emotions, highlighting that mental health is a continuous journey rather than a destination. Through relatable anecdotes, insightful tips, and engaging exercises, we can learn how to cultivate a healthier mindset and develop coping mechanisms for stress and adversity.
One of the standout aspects of the book is its focus on self-compassion and the power of small, consistent changes. Dr. Smith encourages us to be kind to ourselves and to recognize our progress, no matter how incremental.
Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? is an empowering resource that demystifies mental health and provides a toolkit for building a more resilient and fulfilling life. This is a book to live through and by, which is why it’s one of the most popular self-help books at the moment.
““you have to get to work being your own coach instead of your own worst critic””
A self-help book for when you need a pep talk | Life Skills for a Broken World by Dr Ahona Guha
In the Preface to this book Dr Guha suggests two ways to use it. The first is to read it from start to finish. The second is to dip into it if you’re not feeling great. We’ve done both.
Life Skills by Dr. Ahona Guha is the guide to life that we all need right now as we navigate the complexities of modern life.
As a clinical and forensic psychologist, Dr. Guha leverages her extensive expertise to present a practical manual that covers a wide array of life skills crucial for personal and professional success. The book is structured to address various aspects of well-being, including emotional intelligence, effective communication, stress management, and decision-making.
Dr. Guha's writing is both engaging and informative, breaking down intricate psychological concepts into relatable and actionable advice. Each chapter is dedicated to a specific skill, providing readers with clear, step-by-step instructions on how to develop and hone these abilities. Through real-life examples, interactive exercises, and reflective questions, the book encourages readers to actively apply what they learn to their own lives.
A notable feature of Life Skills is its holistic approach, emphasizing the interconnectedness of different skills and how they collectively contribute to a balanced and fulfilling life. Dr. Guha advocates for continuous learning and resilience, offering insights that are both practical and inspirational.
Life Skills is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to enhance their capabilities and lead a more effective and enriched life.
“This is a book of understanding, of action, of realism, of anti-hustle, and some tolerable discomfort — not a pastel book of self-care, bubble baths, motivational quotes, and polite platitudes.”
These are our favorite self-help books by female authors that offer us guidance as we navigate our lost moments. They speak to the pressures of being a woman in the world today and all we’re now supposed to strive for. Together they offer a much-needed antidote to the idea of doing more to be more by female authors who get it too.
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