When Change Feels Like Too Much (or Not Enough)
Change has become a bit of a cultural obsession. We’re told to embrace it, manifest it, optimize it, and if nothing else, get ahead of it. But what if you’re not ready for change?
What if you don’t even know where to begin — or worse, you’re so tired that even thinking about beginning feels like too much?
What if your to-do list is buried under feelings you can’t quite name, and change feels like another thing you're supposed to “achieve”?
Change can be powerful, but a lot of the time, it just feels hard.
It can feel like you’re supposed to reinvent your life, quit your job, start journaling, meditate, heal your nervous system, launch something meaningful, and find inner peace… all before breakfast.
In this week’s episode of A Thought I Kept, I spoke with Eleanor Tweddell — author of Another Door Opens and someone who has spent years thinking about how we navigate the murky middle of change.
Not the TED Talk version. The real version. The one where you feel uncertain, messy, and nothing is falling neatly into place.
And we kept circling back to one idea that feels worth offering here:
You don’t have to make change happen.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is make space for it.
So what do you do when you feel…lost?
When you’re feeling lost, it’s tempting to look for a map. A mentor. A checklist.
But when you’ve lost your sense of direction, what you often need most is stillness, not movement.
Try this:
Sit with the question: “What do I know to be true about me today?” Even if the answer is small. Even if it’s “I’m tired,” or “I love my morning coffee.”
Take the pressure off needing big answers. Instead, track what gives you a spark of energy or a softening in your body. These are breadcrumbs that you can tentatively start to follow.
We don’t often start with clarity. Sometimes we arrive with better questions — and that’s enough.
What to do when you feel…burned out
When you’re burned out, everything feels like another task — even things that are meant to help you.
But change doesn’t have to be action. Sometimes, the bravest, most radical thing you can do is nothing.
Instead of asking: “What should I do next?”
Try asking: “What would it look like to stop trying so hard today?”
Then let yourself off the hook — completely.
Ideas to try:
Take a tech-free walk with no goal.
Cancel something that doesn’t matter as much as your wellbeing.
Let your brain idle — yes, even with a box set or a nap.
As Eleanor shared, the most productive thing she did on the launch day of her book was make coffee and sit in the sun. That was enough.
What to do when you feel…overwhelmed
Overwhelm is often less about how much we have to do, and more about how much we’re holding in our heads and hearts without release.
Your nervous system doesn’t need another productivity hack.
It needs a moment of exhale.
Try this 3-step reset:
Name it: “I feel overwhelmed because…”
List it: Brain-dump everything that’s buzzing in your mind. No filtering.
Choose ONE: What’s one thing you could do today that would make you feel 5% more in control?
And if even that’s too much?
You’re allowed to press pause. You’re allowed to say “not today” to change.
Sometimes, the most generous act is letting go of urgency.
What to do when you feel… disconnected
When we’re disconnected, it can feel like we’re moving through life on autopilot.
We say yes when we want to say no. We scroll instead of feeling. We forget what brings us joy.
This is where a values check-in can bring you back to yourself.
Ask: What actually matters to me right now — not what used to, not what “should”? Where in my life am I living out of alignment with that?
You don’t need to overhaul everything. Just start by noticing.
If you’re a Wellery Member, you’ll find our full Values Check-In exercise here
And if that’s too much today?
Do one small thing that feels like you — not your “best” self, not your productive self, just your real self.
Maybe that’s:
Cooking a meal you love, just for you
Putting on music and dancing in the kitchen
Saying no to something you don’t want to do
The first step doesn’t have to bring clarity. Sometimes it’s more about connection. And that often starts with listening inward again.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just in it.
Navigating change isn’t about always knowing the next step.
Sometimes, it’s about standing still long enough to hear yourself think.
And in this week’s episode, Eleanor Tweddell makes the case for something both radical and restorative:
“Always hold space for magic. ”
Even when you’re tired. Even when you’re uncertain. Even when you don’t believe in it yet.
Because sometimes, what’s next arrives when you stop trying so hard to find it.
Listen to the full episode:
If you’ve ever felt like the idea of change is just too much, you’re not alone.
In our 1:1 sessions and The Wellery community, we see this again and again:
Some people are stuck in jobs that no longer feel right, but can’t imagine where else to go.
Some are depleted from caring for others and don’t know how to care for themselves.
Others are done with self-development and just want to feel like themselves again.
So instead of forcing clarity or making a five-year plan, here’s a better question:
What if you’re not utterly lost — just in a moment of in-between?
And what if that space could be a beginning, not a failure?
Want more thoughtful support that fits with your real-life?
Join The Wellery for deeper reflections, journaling prompts, and tools to help you stay connected to yourself while navigating change.
